Dissector (guitar) & Fermentor (bass & vocals) – Sunday 18 June 2017
« Lymph nodes are the M&Ms of cannibalism: you can sauté them in a little bit of belly fat. It’s good» – Dissector
How the hell are you?
Dissector: Doing fine under the circumstances!
Remind me of your Ghoul name?
Dissector: It is my only name! I am Dissector. I like it, it has consonants and vowels.
Which do you prefer consonants or vowels?
Dissector: Vowels, there are fewer of them. You only have to remember like five vowels and you have to remember quite a number of consonants, especially in the Czech Republic!
Have you noticed a difference in how people taste given the relative number of vowels to consonants?
Dissector: Insofar as all pigs being fattened to the slaughter. They say you are what you eat, so I am what you eat. So if you are a vegetarian you have more floral notes. If you’re not, you’re like me. I’m a cannibal so I almost exclusively eat meat. I ate some green beans earlier by accident and that was upsetting to the stomach.
What kind of French people do you like to eat?
Dissector: Communists! They are plentiful in this land. They are easy to acquire and I’m an easygoing kind of Ghoul. You can give me all the brown M&Ms you want but I won’t eat them, because they are not made of human flesh.
I see you where multiple pins from the band Fear. Are they popular in Creepsylvania?
Dissector: Fear is popular in my room in the catacombs. Most of the charlatans in the band have no taste in music whatsoever. There is quite a bit of Celine Dion that wafts through the catacombs on a bad day. She looks tasty though.
Are Quebecois people tasty?
Dissector: I guess. They are people and people are frequently tasty. In Ghoul we will kill and eat you regardless of your origins. I think people are disgusting, they have skin and teeth no rotting anything. The most beautiful people are dead ones I can eat. I consider myself to be a bit of Gore-mand! (laughter) In Creepsylvania that’s just a euphemism for “Fatass”. That being said I just get drunk and violent and kill whoever is in front of me.
Do you ever bite into living people?
Dissector: Frequently. But I am old and fat so it is hard. In this day and age I have come to discover Whole Foods. I’m really into locally sourced foods. So we will kill many people in Clisson tonight and it will be easy because they will be quite drunk. It’s from playground to table! (laughter)
This is the silliest interview ever!
Dissector: I once saw an interview on Fox News with Danny Glover once so I disagree. That’s all I will say.
Do you think Danny Glover would taste good?
Dissector: Yes but he was in Lethal Weapon. I wouldn’t touch that. He’s a national treasure, more than national, he’s a human treasure.
So certain humans because of their achievements you will no longer eat…
Dissector: No. It’s because he’s huge and I couldn’t take him in a fight.
Fermentor (entering the room): I could take him!
Dissector: Shut up, Fermentor!
Fermentor, how do you feel about the ethos of from playground to table?
Dissector: Locally sourced foods!
Fermentor: Like veal?
Dissector: That’s what we call human children in public. In the catacombs we just call them children, or since we are in France, hors d’oeuvres.
Fermentor: If I’m hungry age ain’t nothing but a number!
Dissector: I like to think of it as an amuse bouche! It all depends. There’s veal and there’s lamb. You can age it you can eat it raw…
Like a tartare?
Dissector: Exactly. Although I believe nowadays they are called “differently abled” (laughter).
Is political correctness important to you in Creepsylvania?
Dissector: It is to me personally because I’m the only person in this band with a sense of dignity.
Fermentor: I don’t agree with anything.
Dissector: He’s very contrarian. He voted for the Bernie Sanders ticket to split the difference.
Fermentor: That’s not true. I was lying. I really got you. Babe. Have you heard that song?
Dissector: I have it’s one of my favorites.
Fermentor: It’s a classic!
When you are eating people… in a traditional high society restaurant you have a string quartet, so if you are a gore-mand… do you listen to ABBA while eating?
Fermentor: It’s pronounced ABBA.
Dissector: Most of the time we listen to Cremators pop-techno demos.
Fermentor: I enjoy the screams.
Dissector: They are like seasoning, a serenade! That’s why it rhymes with marinade. We invented that. Ghoul trademark 2017.
You have a Captain Kirk pin too Dissector, is Star Trek popular in Creepsylvania?
Dissector: I have no idea what you are talking about, this is Star Treek, a new fragrance I am working on. It’s still in the testing stages.
Fermentor: It smells like shit.
Dissector: Yeah. That’s most of what we have left over after corpses are eaten. Waste not want not! That circles back to the whole from playground to table thing. Ghoul is going green in their own way. I’ve got to be honest, I am quite drunk!
Fermentor: Who ate all the blue M&Ms?
Dissector:Not me, I’m a cannibal!
What are the M&Ms of cannibalism?
Dissector: Lymph nodes, you can sauté them in a little bit of belly fat. It’s good. Or cat turds.
Do you eat cats in general?
Dissector: Only when the market is down. I have a lot of money in blue chips. By which I mean those potato chips which are blue. Because people eat them, and I will eat the people.
Interview: Matt Bacon.